Just a little dear diary moment

For some reason I'm so emotional today, and I probably shouldn't blog cuz heaven for bid I cry even more but I just want to say how lucky I am to be so blessed in my life. Living in Alaska has probably been one of the top 5 hardest things I've ever had to go through in my life, only because I miss my family so very much. I would never trade it though in a million years cuz it's been the best thing ever do have my best friend by my side. Jeff and I have grown so very close, it's crazy how much this adventure has made our love grow. We do everything from running errands, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, watching my dorky sitcoms, taking the dogs for a walk, etc. Very rarely do I leave the house alone, unless Jeff is working or at school and usually I end up going to see him at work and have lunch with him almost everyday. I was telling my mom how cute Jeff is that everytime I go see him at work he always has the biggest smile on his face and is always so happy to see me. It feels like we are back in our dating days, the giddyness happens all over again.

Anyway, back to the reason why I'm crying today. So I've been debating back and forth about flying home in October to see my family. I've talked to Jeff bout it many times and this is how the conversation went, "Honey, can I fly home for a few days in October?" "No!" "Ok," I stated. "Wow that was easy," says Jeff. Yep, after that I dropped it for a little bit. Well after talking more and despite what he says I know he doesn't care, but deep down I think he will miss all the homemade dinners and desserts I make everyday (have nothing else up here to do but cook everyday :) and he thinks our dogs are high maintenance all because one night when I was working he had to take them outside twice to go potty, oh poor Jeff, welcome to my life. We really do have the best dogs ever, and Jeff will agree but he does forget to take them outside (hence the occasional pee puddles by our front door) and he forgets to feed them unless I tell him too.

Again, back to the reason I think I'm crying... my sister Amanda posted tons of pics of her new little girl Brooklyn and she just turned a month old yesterday and it's killing me that I haven't seen her yet. I sent home a couple new outfits cuz all Amanda has is 0-3 mo. and cute little Brooklyn still isn't quite into newborn outfits yet, still just styling premie and a few newborn clothes. I'm so sad that I'm missing this stage in Brooklyns life as well as seeing Amanda as a new mom and my parents interacting with their first grand daughter. I miss seeing Kim's boy Jaxon and seeing him running around and kissing little Brooklyn and hearing all his talking. I'm also missing my other nephew and neices in St. George. Jeff and I both miss heading over on Sundays to play with Josh and Sheridans kids and seeing Nikki and Tipper and little Lexi. Jeff is so close to his brothers and it's hard to be so far away and have to deal with the time difference, we try to coordinate Skype dates but by the time we are home its 7 or 8 at night which makes it 10 in Utah and all the kids are gone to bed. It's the only down fall of being so close to your sibblings, is when you move away you miss them so bad.

So being emotional and missing everyone so much, I went ahead and booked my trip to Utah. The main thing holding me up from waiting so long to do it was the ridiculous price to only be able to go for 3 days. But since I choose my own work schedule and adjusted my days, now I'm able to stay 5 whole days, unfortunately it's during the time Jeff has his 2 days off but guess he can catch up on all his homework. It's definately a bitter sweet feeling to go see my family but leave Jeff home with the puppies. I've never flown alone either and I'm not too fond of flying anyway, guess it goes to show how much I'm missing my family :) See you all in October!!!!!!
Can't wait to hold and kiss this little girl, she's sporting one of the cute dresses I got her.


My amazing dad cuddling with Brooklyn, sorry to break it to you dad but while im in town, only I get to hold her. You and mom can just deal with it for 5 days :)