Bitter sweet changes

I'm one that hates change... I don't adjust well to it. And our little family as had a lot of change lately. First off I went back to work when Harper was almost  9 weeks old. I went back to one job since I carried the insurance and ran out of PTO for a full leave but stretched my maternity leave with my other job. After only a month back Jeff and I decided it was time to quit my main job at Providence Hospital but stay PRN at Alaska Regional since I get to determine when  and how often I want to work. It was definitely hard to leave the crew I work with and I just absolutely loved my manager. I will not miss working on the ortho floor. It was way too exhausting and I hated the day in day out same routine over and over. I like my job at Regional being a step down ICU where I get to do critical care and every night its a different story.

Jeff also had a change in jobs. He is now the manager at GNC and is doing so well. He absolutely loves it. He is such a people person and it's been a HUGE blessing for him to get this job. He now carries the insurance which is the main reason for me quitting Providence and lets me be home more to be a mom and wife.
With the sequestration going on with the government and FAA we have found out that he now wont be going to Oklahoma for his ATC training until the fall. It has been the biggest headache having to wait almost 2 whole years since he has graduated to get started with his career. We just keep praying the Lord will continue to bless us as we try to be so very patient.
The next bitter sweet change was I was released as the YW president. Jeff and I have been serving with the youth since we moved into the ward over a year ago. He is the scout master and 1st counsellor in the YM. After having the baby it wasn't the most ideal calling with us both being out of the home so much. What made it hard was me going back to work. My time at home and being with Harper was becoming stretched and my time with Jeff was non-existence. I was becoming extremely stressed, emotional and basically pushing depression. I know the Lord called me to be the YW president for a reason but after lots of prayers and after being approached by the bishopric they felt best I was released. I loved my calling, I loved my counsellors and I loved the girls I served but I hated that I was breaking down. I felt like a terrible wife and a run down exhausted mother being pulled in so many directions. I wish I could do it all and maybe eventually I will be able to.

I know the Lord is watching out for our family. I know there is a reason Harper came into our lives when she did. I know that we have been so blessed with Jeff working and me being able to stay home more. And I know EVENTUALLY Jeff will go to Oklahoma and will start his career and future as an Air traffic Controller.
And last but not least is the bitter sweet change of Harper growing up so fast. We are both so in love with her and all the milestones she is reaching. She is the biggest blessing in our lives and we couldn't imagine our lives without her. She has us both wrapped around her little chubby fingers.

Family Time

Family time for us is very limited. With me back working full time, Jeff working his 2 jobs (his 2 days off are the days I'm sleeping), both still have callings in the YM and YW, needless to say our time together as a family is very precious right now.
A few weeks ago we took off after church for a nice Sunday drive down the Turnagain Arm to Beluga Point. With the days getting longer it leaves more time for enjoying the beautiful weather and sunshine. (Don't judge the dirty truck... breakup here is the dirtiest time of year.)

The Sportmans Expo was a few weekends back and we have gone every year, so we were determined to make that another family outing. Jeff and Harper actually went all 3 days... he made a daddy daughter date out of it while mommy was working.

This next pic is priceless to me. Jeff has gone above and beyond the call of duty as a father. One morning when I came home from work this is what I found. I love my little family.

 

 

Harper 3 months

Our little peanut has turned 3 months old. She has hit such a fun stage and has completely stolen both our hearts. I seem to fall more in love with her day after day. Here are some fun facts about her now: She found her tongue a few weeks ago and will lick anything she can. She loves to lick my shoulders when I'm burping or carrying her around. She will also give you tongue when you kiss her mouth :) Best kisses ever!!! Not quite sleeping through the night but I haven't really tried. Sleeps 4-5 hours at first then feeds, then will go another 3-4 hours. She seems to sleep better when Jeff has her at nights while I work, probably because she gets a bottle and gets more ounces from the bottle and it's less work to suck from a bottle. Who knows, it also may be I'm a light sleeper so I feed her more often. Shes is a terrible napper :) She just doesn't want to sleep for fear she will miss something I guess. She takes a 40 nap in the morning, another one mid afternoon and then a 3-4 hour nap later afternoon or evening, usually in her carseat since that's when we are out and about. She loves her carseat. She could sleep in it for hours. And she still loves car rides. She loves sucking her hands, shirt, blankets... anything she can grab and put in her mouth. She gets very slobbery and you always get a nice surprise when you go to kiss her cheek. She has come to love her play mat. She will lay up to an hour on it, cooing and grabbing the toys and staring in the mirror. I love watching her on the mat. Just a few days ago she is starting to roll. She will only go left right now. I first noticed it while she was on her changing table. I was picking up her room and when I turned around she was almost on her tummy but the side rails stopped her (thank heavens!) She is constantly smiling. she use to only smile in the mornings but now it's almost on cue. She will even smile when we skype with family. My favorite time when she smiles is when she is breast feeding. She will be staring at me and as soon as I make eye contact or say hi she will smile... and it usually follows with a mouth full of milk dripping out of her mouth everywhere but she is too darn cute to even care about the mess right now. She is starting to fake cough. I think this started cuz she was sick for a few weeks with congestion and every time she would cough then I would cough at her. Now she seems to just do it and when I do it back she smiles and gets excited. We have just discovered this week that she loves having her pants and socks off. She kicks and goes crazy and rubs her feet against whatever she can. Just started wearing size 2 diapers this week. They seem a little big but I didn't want to buy any more size 1 since they were kinda getting snug. Wears 3 month size clothes. She seems to be growing right along with her age. Had her first cold a few weeks ago. She got really congested the day we came back from Utah. After a week of trying to battle it from home and treating with saline drops, humidifier, hot steam showers and tylenol for the low grade temp I finally took her in. She tested neg. for RSV which I'm thankful for. She ended up clearing up after 2 1/2 weeks of having it. But her demeanor never changed, she continued to be her happy, smiling, cooing self. One day I went to check on her while she was sleeping and I found this... silly girl. I had her swaddled so not sure how her head got wrapped. This is when she was sick. We were sitting in the bathroom with hot steam shower going to try to loosen her congestion. She will always have such a serious/concerned look until you start talking to her then she grins ear to ear. The bathroom got so hot from the steam shower her hair was going curly. she was born with so much hair and now with her head growing it looks like she barely has any. Plus it's not dark anymore :( my little girl has her daddy's hair color. I'm so sad, I wanted a dark haired baby. Who doesn't just love a sleeping baby... I especially do since she doesn't sleep much during the day for me to sit and watch her ;) I couldn't be more in love with these 2. They are the world to me. Jeff is the ultimate dad. I'm back to work twice a week so he is full time daddy for 2 nights. He gets off work early to watch her during the day so I can nap and then he gets up with her during the night to give her a bottle and then he will watch her the next morning so I can sleep some more. He loves his daddy/daughter time. They go shopping together, show apartments and go on drives to stay out of the house so I can sleep. I don't know any dad that would sacrifice his sleep to get up and feed a baby, not to mention all while working full time and having a part time job as well. Lately I've been putting her in her bouncer on the kitchen counter while I do dishes or cook dinner. She loves it. This day in particular it was super sunny and warm outside so I opened the kitchen window and let the nice fresh breeze come in. Next thing I knew she was sound asleep.

Jeff and I were snacking on graham crackers and since Harper is into holding/grabbing things with her hands he gave her one and she held it in one hand for quite some time. Then he gave her another one and she held it like this.

KO is pretty cute around Harp. Chewy could care less about her. KO was wanting some attention one morning when we woke up and he laid on her. When we tried to push him off he just rolled to the side so we snapped a pic. Harper then started licking his ear. I'm telling ya this girl will lick anything that she can get into her mouth.

Please tell me this isn't just the cutest thing ever. I was pushing a shopping cart through the parking lot to the car and knew Harper was sleeping. Well here in alaska when the snow melts the gravel they lay down all winter stays so it's sooo hard to push a cart. It was super noisy and the cart was shaking like crazy. When I got to the car I knew for sure there is no way she had slept through that. I lifted the cover and her eyes were so wide eyed with a sad little frown... she was on the verge of tears from being awakened so suddenly. So I just started talking to her and she immediately smiled. I was able to snatch my camera for a second smile.

Easter 2013

I was so excited for Easter this year because it was Harpers first holiday. And I know this whole year is going to be full of firsts which makes me even more excited. The Easter bunny sure did spoil her. She got 2 books, 2 new toys for her play mat, her first cabbage patch doll, a new spring dress and then the movie HOP.

Harper loves her play mat and new toys and she is starting to enjoy books. She will sit on my lap and look at all the pages and once I stop reading she will start kicking and getting restless. I hope she loves books because I think it's a perfect quiet time activity as she gets older.
Jeff and I splurged at the Sportsman Show and bought some new beautiful wall paintings for each other for Easter. He really wanted the Caribou one and I didn't want just one pic so he let me choose what I wanted. I love these paintings and know that no matter where we settle down in the future we will always have a bit of "Alaska" in our home. The painter is Brent R. Todd for SLC. He was such a neat guy to meet and we hope that we will cross paths again with him someday and who knows, maybe we will buy some more of his art work.

We had a very relaxing Easter. We had the Ruggles over for dinner and enjoyed watching HOP, I forgot how cute that show was. Harper was a gem all day and in fact has started to roll. The next sequence of pics are mine and Jeff's fav. She was just chillin in his arms and was watching me walk around. Once I sat next to them she turned and smiled.

I didn't let this day go by without reflecting what the true meaning of Easter really is. I'm so grateful for the atonement and for all the Savior has done for me personally. I've had my moments where I have truly had to utilize the repentence process and have had to be humbled and I'm so blessed for all I have learned by doing so, and in turn growing closer to my Savior.

Harpers Blessing Dress

I finally took the time to dress Harper back up in her dress and the right headband to get some pics. She was just so darn cute I kept her in it most the morning. I absolutely loved her dress and I'm so sad they only wear it once.

Harper's Baby Blessing

While we were in Utah we had Harper blessed. We did it in Tremonton since it would've been the start of our 4 days in a row with Jeff's family and since all his brothers would be up we didn't want them hauling their families back and forth to PG. We had Gary bless her and what a neat experience that was. Jeff's parents weren't active in the church until the boys started serving missions, so Gary never had the opportunity to bless or baptism any of his boys (Jeff's Uncle Jerry did it every time.) So Jeff wanted to give his Dad the opportunity to give a baby blessing (and not to mention it was his birthday too). Gary was so proud and I'm so thankful that he holds and honors the priesthood. Jeff's parents sure have come a long way and now are the most incredible people ever. Jeff's mom is always serving/thinking of others and was just released as the RS president because Jeff's dad got called into the Bishopric. What a great example they are to us and I'm so blessed to have them as my in-laws.  We blessed her on March 10th, which happened to be the 2nd Sunday of the month. I was sad we didn't get to bless her on fast sunday because I would have loved to share my testimony with my family members. Since it was Jeff's home ward, he asked the Bishop if he could take a quick moment to share his testimony. I am so proud of him. I harrass him all the time that I've only seen him cry twice since I've known him (once when I tried breaking up with him, he denies it but I have an incredible memory. and the second when we were sealed in the temple.) Well Jeff got a little teary eyed and choked up when he started bearing his testimony about how hard it was to get Harper here and what a blessing she is to us. He continued to share his love for his family, for his ward family who helped raise him, for his Uncle Jerry for always being an example to him and for me as his wife and mother to Harper. His testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel was so touching. I just sat there staring at him and being so greatful that he is my husband and the father to our children for eternity. The program continued with a High Councilman and his son, who is a recent RM. The whole sacrament program was so spiritual and what started it was my husbands testimony because both speakers tied their talks into what Jeff shared and they both appreciated his comments. The one thing the high councilman said that really struck me and I'll never forget it is "This is what the gospel is about, is family." Isn't it so true. We have the temple as proof. What a blessing and honor it is to be a member of the only true church on this earth. I hope and pray I will keep my testimony strong and that I strive every day to be a better member of the church so I can be an example to my children of what a devote member is and what great blessings come from living worthily. I know in my heart that if it weren't for my faith, prayers and fasting and finally having the opportunity to be sealed to Jeff, that Harper would not be here today. She truly is a miracle and a blessing in our lives. Sadly, as mentioned in my Utah post, this day to me was a day full of regrets. First off, since Diana had been sick we didn't go up to Tremonton on Saturday like I had planned. So I had to be up at 630 Sunday morning to get ready. I was feeling rushed leaving PG to head to Tremonton. We got to Jeff's parents house just in time to get Harper cleaned up and in her dress but I was trying to force feed her so she wouldn't wake up and be hungry right during the blessing. Well she spit it all up (luckily before I had her blessing dress on). I got ZERO pictures getting her ready in her dress. My sister had her bow so the few pics I got of her in her dress she didn't have the right bow on. We pull up to the church and of course she is hungry, so I give her a quick 5 min feed (she normally breast feeds 10 min on BOTH sides). She makes it through all of sacrament without a peep. The rest of the day consisted of quick feeds every 1-2 hours because I was too stressed about missing out visiting with family and friends to take the time to feed her a full 20-30 min. So many people came to support her and I know alot of people wanted to hold her as well. Another regret, probably the biggest, I didn't get a single picture of just me and her!! I'm devastated every time I think about it. I know I can always dress her up and get one but every time I would look at the pic I would know it wasn't really taken on her blessing day. I also got no pictures of anyone else holding her... no big family pics, no pics of me, my mom and her (3 generations). It's hard when I'm always the photographer and when it's a busy day for me then no pictures get taken. And the last regret is I didn't even get to hear her blessing. I was literally 2 rows away from the circle. I don't know if it was the mic, or a loud chapel or what. My mom and Jeff's aunt tried to write it down and they couldn't hear it as well. Thankfully Jeff remembered it all and was sweet enough to write it all down for me... literally word for word. It truly was the sweetest blessing and I'm so greatful my husband was standing by his dad and got to hear it. Those who were there to support Harper and her big day involved many family and friends. In the circle stood Jeff, my dad, Jeff's dad, Scott Burnett, Jonny Burton, Tipper Harris, Josh Harris, Grandpa Tip, and Jeff's Uncle Jerry. Others who were there to support were both our mom's, Grandma Lola, Kim and Dan, Amanda, Conner, Braydin (Jonny's GF) Sheridan, Nikki, Scotty and all the neices and nephews. Friends Mac and Jaime Brady and there son Judd. Our long time friends from Alaska who now live in Utah, Ryan and Megan Goodwin (pic below). Jeff's friends Skylar and Cami from HS and their boys. And Some of Jeff's extended family. Man what a list. Harper was the result of much fasting, prayers and lots of love and her blessing day was proof of it all.