Jeff's first Fathers Day

June 16, 2013

Jeff celebrated his first father's day this year. He got to speak in church on Mother's Day so the bishopric must've thought it would be cool for me to speak on Father's Day. This was actually my first time speaking in 3 years (the last time was in our married ward in St. George prior to moving to Alaska). Apparently my talk was pretty good, Jeff loved it and I had alot of compliments. It definately wasn't hard to write about Father's because I'm surrounded by incredible Fathers; my dad, father in law and husband. I've attached my talk (that I went back later to type up to send to my dad) cuz Jeff loved it so much. I'm proud of the father he has become. Harper and him get to have their daddy-daughter time 1-2 days a week while I work. He is very hands on, helpful and so cute to watch interact with her. I tried to make it a special day for him by fixing him steak, homemade scalloped potatoes, veggies and homemade caramel corn while we watched a movie. We also gave him more work out clothes since he has become quite the work out junkie lately. We sure love him and are so grateful for him in our lives.

I’m very honored to be asked to speak today because being Father’s day I feel like I have been blessed beyond measure with an incredible Dad and Husband, who is the father to our little Harper.

To start off I want to share with you a talk I found when researching “Fatherhood”:

Elder L. Tom Perry-April 2004

Satan, in his carefully devised plan to destroy the family, seeks to diminish the role of fathers.  It appears to me that the crosshairs of Satan’s scope are centered on husbands and fathers.  A family needs a father to anchor it.

1. The Father is the head of the household

“Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home. It is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of [divine] appointment.”⁷

“You preside at the meal table, at family prayer. You preside at family home evening; and as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, you see that your children are taught correct principles. It is your place to give direction relating to all of family life.

“You give father’s blessings . As a leader in your home you plan and sacrifice to achieve the blessing of a unified and happy family. To do all of this requires that you live a family-centered life.”

My Father was an excellent example of leadership in our home. Growing up I feel he and my mom worked together to raise 5 kids. My husband is also a great example of leadership and never makes me feel lesser than him. He is always including me in decisions that will effect how we live our lives and raise our kids.

My dad was one that I was never afraid to ask for a blessing. I have received numerous blessings from him, whether for the sick, comfort, peace of mind or start of a new school year. I remember one time specifically my little sister and I were so sick (I think with pneumonia) and we missed weeks of school. I remember how I had so much faith in my father’s priesthood power and I knew that because of his blessing that I would get better. My husband also values his priesthood and is always willing to give a blessing. When Harper had her first COLD, all he wanted to do was give her a blessing. I knew in my mind she was ok, but he was so excited and wanted to use his priesthood to provide her comfort and peace and to heel quickly.

2. The father is a teacher.

President Joseph F. Smith’s counsel applies today: “Do not let your children out to specialists … , but teach them by your own precept and example, by your own fireside. Be a specialist yourself in the truth.”¹²

“When you recognize the importance of teaching your children, you become humble, because at once you realize that this is accomplished by precept and example. You cannot be one thing and effectively teach another. You must live and study and pray for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. You must purify and organize your life so that your example and leadership reflect the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

My Dad is a very humble man who lead by example. He is not a man of many words but his actions alone are what said it all. I have always  looked up to my dad and because of who he was and is, is how I based my decision of the man I wanted to marry and eventually did marry.

“You must plan your day as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, earnestly seeking your own welfare and the welfare of your family before other cares blind you to these first responsibilities. As we have been taught by living prophets, ‘No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home’ (David O. McKay, in Conference Report, Apr. 1964, 5; quoted from J. E. McCulloch, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924], 42).”¹³

3. The father is the temporal provider.

Fathers, by divine decree, you are to preside over your family units. This is a sobering responsibility and the most important one you will ever assume, for it is an eternal responsibility. You place the family in its proper priority. It’s the part of your life that will endure beyond the grave.

My Dad has always been a very hard worker. He at times would work 2-3 jobs so that my mom could stay home to raise us. Us kids had a very blessed life because of my dad. He worked so that we never went with out. He all played every sport we wanted too, went to all the greatest camps, traveled/vacationed as a family….all because of my Dad and his willingness to work and provide for us.

D&C 29:48  For it is given unto them even as I will, according to mine own ^apleasure, that great things may be required at the hand of their ^bfathers

I want to take a moment to talk about a Father’s Hand:

My father’s hands: old, worn, stained and callused from hard work, and scared from injuries…. But they taught me lessons (basketball, working on my car, etc)  taught me to pray, held my hand when I cried, gave me blessings  of comfort, fathers blessings when sick.He gave me high fives when I accomplished something great. He would tickle my back when I was younger… I always looked forward to “goosebumps” and I love that he still continues to do this with the grandkids. They were also hands of gentleness and peace, used for sacrifice and service while serving his mission and those around him. I always loved shaking his hand while he served in the bishopric because I was proud of who is was. My dad’s hands show a true man of character and love for his family.

My father in laws hands: Although I have never inspected them I’m grateful for the way he raised such a wonderful young man and taught him similar lessons, as my dad did with me, to make him who he is today. Most recently his hands have touched our lives as he was able to give Harper her baby blessing. He never had to opportunity to bless or baptism is own 4 boys so we were honored to let him use his hands to bless our sweet little girl.

My husbands hands: Not as worn and stained as my father and father in laws hands… he has “baby hands” so to speak, where they are still learning and teaching me and Harper, but they hold some of the same characteristics as our fathers. My favorite pic of him and Harper is when we had just brought her home from the hospital and we were getting ready to go to bed. He held our little girl and she started sucking on his fingers. You can see his hands were worn and no longer “baby hands” compared to hers. You could see how strong and big they were compared to her soft small head. His hands are gentle, provide peace, and service to those around him.  On his mission  he taught himself  sign language to communicate with a man who was investigating the church. He taught himself to play the guitar and piano and played in many sacrament meetings. His hands are what lead me through the veil when we went to the temple. The hands I held across the alter to be sealed for all eternity. He is always showing his love for me by holding my hand, even while he is driving. He uses his hands to give me hugs when I’m needing them. I do love my husbands hands.

Our Saviors hands: He showed us the ultimate sacrifice, service,  and healing. He will always have the scares on his hands to show the sacrifice he made for all of us. I look forward to seeing his hands.

From the talk “The Hands of a Father”

Elder Jeffery R Holland- April 1999

“I am a father, inadequate to be sure, but I cannot comprehend the burden it must have been for God in His heaven to witness the deep suffering and Crucifixion of His Beloved Son in such a manner. His every impulse and instinct must have been to stop it, to send angels to intervene—but He did not intervene. He endured what He saw because it was the only way that a saving, vicarious payment could be made for the sins of all His other children from Adam and Eve to the end of the world…”

“ Jesus’ entire being, His complete purpose and delight, were centered in pleasing His Father and obeying His will. Of Him He seemed always to be thinking; to Him He seemed always to be praying. Unlike us, He needed no crisis, no discouraging shift in events to direct His hopes heavenward. He was already instinctively, longingly looking that way.”

“To those who wanted to see the Father, to hear from God directly that Jesus was what He said He was, He answered, “If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: … he that hath seen me hath seen the Father.”⁵

“I have wondered what that reunion must have been like: the Father that loved this Son so much, the Son that honored and revered His Father in every word and deed. For two who were one as these two were one, what must that embrace have been like? What must that divine companionship be yet? We can only wonder and admire.”

“As a father, I wonder if I and all other fathers could do more to build a sweeter, stronger relationship with our sons and daughters here on earth. Dads, is it too bold to hope that our children might have some small portion of the feeling for us that the Divine Son felt for His Father? Might we earn more of that love by trying to be more of what God was to His child? In any case, we do know that a young person’s developing concept of God centers on characteristics observed in that child’s earthly parents.⁹

I know my dad did all he could to build a sweeter, stronger relationship with me. I know Jeff will also do all he can to build that relationship with our children. I’m so proud to call my Dad “Dad” and I’m proud of the man I married and that he is the father to my children.